By the Outlaw List Writers
Little John lunged toward Jacobi with all his strength. I must defend Robin and Marion, he thought, as he swung his quarterstaff at Robin's evil doppelganger, clobbering him forcefully across the back. The blow would have knocked any normal man off his feet, but to John's dismay, Jacobi simply turned around, completely unhurt and looking only slightly annoyed by his attacker.
John hit him again, this time aiming for his head, but as quick as lightning, Jacobi had grabbed his quarterstaff, ripped it out of John's hands, snapped it like a twig, and tossed the pieces aside. John stood there helplessly for a moment, not knowing what to do. He had to help Robin!
So, steeling himself, he lunged toward Jacobi with all his might, trying to wrestle him to the ground. Then he felt himself being thrown backward, his head hit a tree and he landed heavily on the ground.
The world spun for a moment and then everything went black.
Jacobi smiled sadistically as he turned and slowly advanced upon Marion. He was going to take his time and enjoy this. After spending what seemed to be an eternity in that fiery pit, he had been waiting for his chance to get revenge on the man who sent him there. Robin Hood.
What a pathetic, weak-minded fool. Look at him now, the great Robin Hood, crawling on the ground like an animal. What did these peasants see in him? He was no hero, certainly no match for Jacobi, or the Druids who kept him so easily under their spell.
And he certainly couldn't handle pain, the burns to his face were only the beginning of what Jacobi planned to do to him. Already he was lying there moaning and crying like a baby as Marion stroked his hair, trying to comfort him.
Jacobi rolled his eyes. Of all the people on this earth, why did I have to look like Robin Hood? It was insulting. But then, he considered, I am of course the most handsome man in the world...
With my dashing good looks, my soulful dark eyes, my perfectly-formed physique... My ripply muscles... My thick, wavy, long brown hair... My roguish, yet charming smile... Where was I? Oh yes, Robin Hood...
Well, Jacobi reasoned, I guess I can understand why the peasants worship him, he is after all very good-looking, even if he's a complete idiot... Jacobi kicked Robin hard in the gut, knocking him out of the way, and gave Marion his most charming, romantic smile. No woman could resist his devilish good looks, he knew, and Marion would be no different.
Unhhhh, Robin grunted, clutching his stomach and gasping for breath. He had to save Marion, he couldn't let that devil Jacobi touch her. He tried to crawl toward her, but the pain was too much to bear, and he collapsed weakly on the ground. Robin fought with all his strength against the Druids' spell, but that awful chanting was impossible to ignore. He tried not to listen, but he couldn't help himself, he felt his mind being drawn in by the sounds.
At first the words had sounded foreign to him, some kind of ancient Celtic language, but now that he listened more carefully he thought he could hear some familiar words... In his confused state, Robin thought he could hear some Latin words, mixed in with the chanting. And he recognized the phrases, he'd heard them many times during Mass.
In fact, it seemed as though the Celtic, Druidic chant was slowly giving
way to a more familiar, Latin, Christian chant... In a voice that was unmistakably
His mind clearing a bit, Robin managed to sit up, and turned around to see thirteen druids standing in a circle, mouths wide open, with the most confused, stunned looks on their faces. Then he saw what they were looking at.
Standing before them, chanting in Latin in the strongest, most courageous voice he could manage, was Friar Tuck.
In his underwear!
End of Part 12
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