By Verenize Bernal Curiel
CHAPTER VII "Doubts"
After the conversation with Little John, Robin had suffered an attack of asphyxia. To the eyes of John, he had lost consciousness, provoking a terrible fright to the giant.
"I could not do anything" John was lamenting, crying while Tuck and Phillip were examining Robin.
"Calm down..." Said Phillip patiently "He is alive...he breathes although very weakly and the fever is high."
"Oh My God." Marion said desperate." The Normands could not kill him, but this poison... Tuck, help him, he is leaving us." She lifted the voice to the Friar.
"Marion, I am doing everything that I can and giving him what is necessary to control the fever but... his body is giving up.." He explained to her.
"Look at him..." She cried "He hardly breathes... we are losing him... I am losing him.".
"Calm down Marion..." John cried when he saw her go against Tuck." We are all very nervous and tired, all we are making..."
"No!" Marion shouted at them "Something is giving up, so that he doesn't improve... and damn!... why hasn’t Olwyn appeared. Doesn't he matter to Robin, for that magician nothing matters."
"Suffice Marion," John told her, as he shook her. "If Robin sees you the way you are now, he would be very sorry for you."
"That is the one thing that I want John." She finally said to him breaking up, crying after so many days of controlling it." I want him to look at me again."
John embraced her with great strength, when he didn’t move from his embrace the woman was relieved. Marion cried so much, letting out all her fears, she dampened the giant’s chest, and to the end of a while, she had disappeared in a profound dream. John was as moved as Tuck was. That warring woman, who always showed her great strength, who fought by their side with the same conviction... now she was only the image of a woman in love, frightened of loosing that which she loved the most. Like never before, Marion’s heart was broken in a thousand pieces. As well as the others, that called themselves Robin’s friends.
"I don't know who worries me more, her or him." Tuck whispered.
Little John picked up Marion and placed her on a bed in another room. She needed to rest. The Friar stayed alone with Robin; he looked as Robin breathed with difficulty and with his face twisted in agony. Marion’s words made him also to doubt. Why did he quit making the potion? It was true, if he didn’t find the antidote quickly, Robin would die... also it was true that he didn’t know what he could make...? He had believed it, until that moment, that he was making the correct poition but he didn't get the results that he waited for... what if he was mistaken? If Marion was right and he was not making enough... he had never doubted that himself. He was thrust and, prayed with fervor. He also cried.
Little John placed Marion in her bed and covered her with a blanket. He thought I had never been stopped to observe that woman in reality. She was strong in spirit but at the same time so delicate. Marion was precisely more practical and realist than they were... including Robin. She always had a concrete and different point of view. She made them follow reason when someone lost the compass. Also, within her warring look, she was sweet and her fresh smile made flourish any gray morning.
But he? Who was he? All the rest seemed to have qualities that nobody had. Tuck with his brilliant mind, Robin with his pure and interior force, Marion with her objectivity... who was he? "Only brute force" he thought. He didn't have more to offer his friends than brute force. Now, he could not help his friend. There were not doors to demolish, neither stones of the road to remove. He suddenly felt his hands empty... and he cried on in the darkness of the night.
Robin’s breath was hardly perceptible. Tuck refreshed him and made him swallow a little of tea. But the youth hardly gave signs of life. Friar prayed for his soul, he thought that night would be his last.
"Robin..." the voice murmured in the archer’s mind.
"Olwyn..." he answered in his mind.
"Come with me..." the magician, said to him reaching his ghastly hand.
"I am so tired." Robin begged.
"If you stay there, you will never leave,, my youthful friend" Olwyn warned.
"You are considering that you are conquered... you have escaped under worst circumstances and now you simply don't want to follow fighting." Olwyn said angry.
"Maybe I am to tired to fight..." Robin said sadness. "I have been betrayed by my family, pursued, tortured and now wounded by the man that was almost my father. I Am tired Olwyn...I became tired of controlling my bitterness, of controlling my love." Robin added grief-stricken.
"Give me your hand, dear friend." Olwyn requested him again. "I promise you that if after showing you what you need to see, you can continue with your intention, I myself will help you to sleep for always."
Robin extended his spirit hand and was guide out by Olwyn, who first showed him, his own martyred body.
"Oh... I do not look very well..." Robin commented astonished. But it was not only his body that he saw. There was Tuck fighting against his fever, praying, with the semblance of being tired after so many nights of caring for, doubting to himself, to his know-how, to his zeal.
"Why is he so?" Robin ached upon seeing the anguish of his dear friend. "Why does he doubting himself? Tuck is a better doctor than any I have known, he always knows the proper cure. Is he blaming himself? . No Tuck..." he said to the Friar. "You are the best, you should never doubt yourself, the blame is not with you..."
"He doesn't hear you Robin" Olwyn assured him. "He could not see you as I see you now... but come, there is something else that I want that you see". He said pulling him to where John was sobbing. Robin followed him although he didn't want to leave Tuck.
Little John was seated on the floor shivering with cold, without comfort, doubting his own abilities and his intelligence.
"For heaven sake... what has happened with him?" Robin asked Olwyn upon seeing the giant in such a sad state, recognizing that he never had seen John so abandoned and sad.
"Forgive me for everything" John cried" I have not had much to offer to you, in reality; I have given you nothing of worth... forgive me Robin..." Tears drained in torrents from his eyes.
"What is he talking about?" Robin asked. "Forgive him?...Why? He is always there when I have needed him; he is the best searcher and the strongest, but not only that... he is my best friend, the gentlest, who serenity gives me... John, please." Robin seemed to understand what Olwyn is trying to show him. "Where is Marion?" He questioned urgent.
He saw her dozing, even with her eyes wet from crying. She was almost as pale as he was. The nights of insomnia ravaged her face, she was haggard looking, even sleeping, and she could not hide her pain. Robin approached her, he could see her as if in a dream. He saw everything, her meeting, he heard what she had said to Guy at dinner, he felt her pride, her courage.
"She deserves something better Olwyn. Not this life full of uncertainty, of absences."
"You have to learn something new Robin. Each person elects its destination and is patron of it. You cultivate the seed of the truth, you offer an option to life in loyalty, honesty, love, but the decision of the way to follow it is in each person. You could not direct their life. In it resides to be happy or unhappy, that in spite of obstacles and absences, life convinced and committed with yourself and with the others, then you will feel rich and satisfied..." Robin remembered those words in his mind.
"This test is for all of you, not only for you Robin" Olwyn said giving another lesson, as he guided Robin to his body. "Big causes bring big goods, and the kindness of the effect, relies on the transparency of the motive that unchains it... and then they only remain two ways, abandon everything or strengthen it, the first is simple, it is only to make a decision. The second could be difficult, but not for somebody that lives surrounded by love and that above all, that has the trust and the attention of the others." Olwyn vanished.
"Olwyn... I want to come back..."
"You will have to fight..." Olwyn voice was listened faraway.
Tuck was in the more profound of his sentences as if in a dream, he saw himself in the laboratory extracting the antidote that would give Robin an opportunity to live. He opened his eyes and he knew it. "Of course!!" he thought, "I have it, I know that it is the one that I should make." He walked toward the door and he met with Guy, in that moment he was aware that Robin would bet staying alone and unprotected. He feared for him.
"I won't kill him, if you think that Friar" Guy told him upon imagining his thoughts." I only came to see how he was."
"Sir Guy, I..." Tuck didn't know if he should leave him there, but it was necessary that he prepares the antidote.
"If my intention at this moment was to finish Robin Hood’s life, I would do it with or without you, but it is not the case. We have a deal and I will respect it, also the life of my Prince relies on you. If you have something that you need to make, go ahead..."
"I won't delay" Tuck said finally looking to Robin. He would warn Marion so that she would go to take care of the patient while he worked again.
Sir Guy of Gisborn walked in the room. He approached the bed and looked down at the man that lay there with intensity. He put his hand near Robin’s face hardly feeling his breath. He should have felt happy, however he couldn’t feel that. He sat down in a chair beside the bed without taking his view away from Robin for a long time.
"If I have hated you before, now I hate you more, you making me desire to be in your place, even almost expiring in that bed" Guy said in low voice." It is pathetic to desire it Robert, it is pathetic... Wanting to change your place so that I may feel once in my life - that somebody is worried for me, that it matters to somebody that I live... why even knowing that you live in destitution, do I feel that you have more than I? And it should not be so... It is not fair, in what way are we different? You aren’t better that I Robert, you have never been... not even fighting for your no noble cause." Guy voice was bitter " You rob, steal and kill... Whatever the reason, the act is vile... you do this once and again, and the others view you are converted into a hero, while I don't stop being a miserable soldier... And you have the woman that I love and I will always love, when you know that you could not offer her anything compared with what I could give her... that is selfishness Robert, for you have your hands full of blood as much as I. Even if with the words of Marion you seem like a nobleman, you don't quit being a damned thief... a damned murderous... you aren’t better that I... you are not...." Tears ran from Sir Guy of Gisborn eyes, rolling down his face, he wrung his covered gloved hands, shouting out of madness, and pain. Pain for himself. "However… I still wish to spend a day with you."
Guy was so carried away with emotions, that he didn't hear Marion’s steps in the room. When he saw her in front of him, he simply covered his face, he bid her good day, and left. Marion felt moved, it was the first time that she heard him say something that came from Guy’s inner soul. If Robin had listened to him too, he would change his perception about Guy... in the long run... he was only a mistaken man.
End of Chapter Seven
Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter
Three / Chapter Four / Chapter Five
Chapter Six / Chapter Seven / Chapter Eight / Chapter Nine / Chapter Ten
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