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There 'e is the most wanted
man in England!
'Ello one and all. Allows me to introduce me self. My name
is William Scarlet Esq. (Bet you thought I wus goin' to say O'ara.
::Wink::)
There I am, Ain't I a cute bugger?
Me friends call me Will. I was told. ((poke)) Uh,
ordered ((Jab)) I WAS VOLUNTEERED! To tells you all about
the Legend of Robin 'ood.
Now where to begin? I guess at the beginin' (chuckle)
This 'ear is the story of me best friend and Pal Robin 'ood. Now one asks
just 'ow did 'e become an outlaw? Well let me tells you, it were
not of 'is choice. It all begans when Robin were just a lad of Seventeen.
Son of a nobleman 'e wus known as Robert of Locksley, I 'ears tell that
Robin's Pa forced 'im to wears 'is 'air in a certain way,
said it would makes a man out of 'im.. Rob said it was ether that or names
'im Sue. (Small giggle)
{{{{{Poke}}}}}} Get on with it!
Alright!! I'm gettin', I'm gettin'!
Now then wheres wus I? Robins 'air, if you 'aven't seen it then
take a looks see! But I warns you,
its not for the weak!
Whew! For those of you who didn't go, count
your blessin's, Now then, on with the story.
Poor Robins dad were killed right before 'is eyes. 'Is
land taken froms 'im, 'e were forced to flee into the forest. Where 'e
met an ancient wizard Known as Olwyn. "e were trained by the great
Merlin 'imself! Over Five 'undred years old, and don't look a day over
two 'undred! (snicker)
Now
I 'ave met with this wizard and I can tells you. 'E just rubs me the wrong
way. I don't know, can't put me thumb on it, but I 'eard rumors that in
'is younger days 'e 'ung around a bad crowd. From some place called Trans-syl-vein-eat-ah.
'Eard they were real bloodsuckers, dont' know if this is true. But 'is
old girlfriend Mortiana, is white as a ghost! Makes a man wonder if you
knows wot I means." (Knowing Wink!) So's I keep me distance,
sometimes me lucky star is not always lookin' afters me!
So anyways, with no 'ome to calls 'is own, Robin were forced to live with
the poor. Ashamed of 'is 'air he covered 'imself with a 'ood. It
were then the Legend of Robin 'ood were born. "Uproarious laughter!"
{{{{{jab}}}}}Tell the truth Will!
"Whirling around."
You pokes me with that staff one more times, and someones goin'
to find a snake in 'is boot! "Straightening out tunic"
I guess
I 'ave to introduce you to someones. "Jabbing finger" This
'ere is a dear friend o' mine. Also a man that is as close to Robin as
a brother would be. 'Is name is John Little, but 'es a big bugger, so's
we all calls 'im Little John. Robins Lieutenant of our small army. Takes
a bow Little John.
"Planting his staff, the tall blonde takes a deep bow." Hello.
There you goes Little John, nice an polite. Now quit with your
jabbin' and lets me get on with the story!
Now then, where wus I?
Robin 'ood were forced to lives in the forest, with no family to
calls 'is own we kind of took 'im under our wing. It were then 'e took
up the battle to 'elp the poor, being poor 'imself now. We then made Robin
our leader, Little John 'ere is as close to Robin as any man alive.
(Cupping hand to mouth) Confidentially, 'e may look like a big lummox,
but don't let that fool you. There ain't no man in England I would trust
more with me life than Little John, that is other than Robin 'ood. Little
John is just abouts the smartest and gentlest man I know. But don't let
'im know I tolds you this. I 'aves a reputation to up 'olds!
Now we comes
to someone that is very dear to all of us. Robins true love. Marion Fitzwalter.
There she is isn't she a beauty. But I 'ave to tells you,
the woman is a mystery to me. Why the first times I met Marion she were
a real scrapper. Going out into the woods dressed all in leather. Fighting
right alongside Robin, without a care for 'erself. Funny thin' tho, back
then Marion used to cooks alot, but no one ate wot she cooked. Least ways
not and live to tell abouts it. (chuckle) I tells you once
I saw 'er wearin' squirrel tails I stopped eatin' 'er stews. And
she were wicked with that whip! (Rubbing backside) Believe
me, I knows. If you ever meets up with 'er don't mention stews and Squirrels!!
Now comes the strange parts, it seems that after Robin 'ad a nasty
bout with a demon found in Nightmares Castle
Marion seemed to change, I means it was slow like. She still wore the
leather, for which most of us outlaws were thankful! But then, oh I don't
know you tell me. This is 'ow she looks now. See wot I means. But I seems
to be the only ones to notice the change. No one else mentions it. Not even
Robin 'ood 'imself. Shes still a scrapper, believe you me. And she fills
a dress better in any outlaw in camp. (Sly wink) But she is
a bit different, I think its because this Marion seemed to be more
don't know 'ow to put it gently. She seems to 'ave the 'ots for Robin. (Snickering)
::::::::::::VERY HARD JAB IN BACK::::::::::::: Ooof! (Whirling
around, jabbing finger in chest!)
You
keeps poking me in the back with that staff and I'll tells them why we really
calls you Little John!
{Straightening
out tunic} I'll shows 'im you don't mess with Mrs. Scarlets Little
Boy!
Anyways, Marion is and will always be Robins true love.
Tell them how much she gave up a to live with Robin!
Oh Yeah, poor Marion, gave up living in a cold drafty castle
to live in the forest with a young, 'andsome outlaw and all 'is outlaw
friends. (Sarcastic Laughter) Course she could 'ave done
betters if she 'ooked up with me. I thinks I'm much better lookin' than
Robin, wot do you think?
(Ducking)
Ha! You missed me!
Now then let me gets on with the story. The next person I would like to
introduce you to
is another dear friend of mine, Friar Tuck. I thinks the good friar gave
up about as much as any man 'ere in the camp. 'Es a good man, Michael is.
Just about the nicest man you ever met. But don't get 'im riled. 'e can
'old 'imself up against the best of them. And 'e's just about the smartest
man I know. Learned a lot in the monastery, a great 'ealer, 'e knows 'ow
to 'eal most wounds. And most importantly knows when to 'old his tongue
when I goes to 'im for 'elp after gettin' into it with a jealous
'usband. Yep, Friar Tuck is me third best friend. But wot I like the most
of our good friar is 'is cooking. You can tells 'es a man that does enjoy
eatin' . But don't get 'im wrong! When in a fix, 'es the man that we know
we can turn to when all is lost. 'Is faith in God and our cause is the
strongest of anyone in camp.
Now look, I've gone and gotten serious! Guess its Little John rubbin'
off on me.
I am almost
done with me story, just 'ave one mores man to introduce, someones thats
new
to the outlaws. 'is name is Kemal. Come from a land far to the south.
'es a Silent man, but WATCH OUT! 'e sure do pack a wallop! "e stays to 'elp
us because his princess disappeared on 'im. We 'ave tried to find 'er.
So whiles 'es 'ere 'e 'elps us in our cause. Why I remembers the time 'e
'elped Robin search for the captured Queen Eleanor. Caught up with a group
of Amazons 'e were. But with Kemals 'elp they were ables to rescue
our Queen. Yep, the man turned out to be a true outlaw!
But we now come
to the end of me tale of the Outlaws of Sherwood. Sure liked talkin' to
you. Per'aps I'll be back again to tells you of the villains of our fair
land. Believe you me, their are plenty. But fo' now, (taking a deep
bow)
Me and me big friend
'ere bid you all a good day. Watch out fo' those tax collectors. I 'ere
tell they are still a nasty bunch. And keep the faith, Robin will always
be 'ere when 'e is needed. For 'e fights a just cause, that we all believe
in. Somethin' that I think will live on for years to come. Until then Take
Aim and let fly!
.
PS Quarter staffs make great kindling! (Snatching
quarterstaff and running away!)
Will!!! Come back here with my quarter
staff!!!
(Panting out) See you all next time!
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