A Race Against Death

Guest Stars Andrew Bicknell [Prince John], Christopher Lee [Olwyn], Paula Bacon [ Lady Pamela Sedgewick ], David Lumsden [ Sir Gilbert ], Alina Coleman [ Fiona ], Vitalijus Gruodis [ Lord Sedgewick ], Audrone Maliukeviciute [ Lana ], Peter Zigmantavicius [ Willy ] Aired: Feb 03-97 Episode:02 Written by: Sandra Weintraub Director: Terry Marcel

***Laydee Laura's Misguided Tour***
*EPISODE FOUR* *RACE AGAINST DEATH* *(or, Is it Matthew, or is it Memorex?)* *I think this was supposed to be as close to the tradition of Robin Hood as* *they could get: the lady in distress, the contest of strength , an archery* *contest, etc... They wanted to show how much Matthew was the perfect* *swashbuckling hero to step into the legend. Unfortunately, it was rather* *obvious that a stuntguy, rather than Matthew, did a lot of the work.*
REDUB REDUX: We're back to badly dubbed extras again; mainly Lord Sedgewick and the little boy in the first scene. SHERWOOD 90210: Lady Pamela has to be one of the biggest brats ever to be on this show. Must have made Matthew homesick for his one season on BH90210. HIDE & SEEK: How could the three priests NOT see a woman dressed in bright red, a boy dressed in glaring yellow, and a giant, all hiding behind those painfully sparse and inadequate shrubs? PUMPING IRON: So that's how Matthew bulked up for the second season; he pushed around a wheelbarrow full of pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils. DING DONG, ROBIN CALLING: Obviously salesman was not one of Matthew's former occupations. He's a lousy pitchman. FIT TO BE TIED: Why does Robin pull his cape off over his head? It's only tied at his neck, why not just pull the string? TUCK & WAGNALL'S: Tuck sounds like he swallowed the encyclopedia again, pontificating about berries. HANGING OUT: When the abbot is hung upside down Little John has a hold on only one foot. The other leg should flail around, but it doesn't because it's harnessed to the other leg. NOW WHERE DID I PUT THAT?: The money pouches are thrown from the side, rather than dropped from above, which would have made it look like they actually fell out of the abbot's pockets. BTW, the reason people carried pouches that tied to their belts in those days was that no one had pockets in the first place! COIN OPERATED: Oh my, oh my. Those fingers are agile, aren't they? First the arrow spin and now he's flicking coins with those fabulous fingers. What else can they do? BABY'S FIRST SWORDFIGHT: This is the first time you get to see Robin use his sword! Isn't that cute? I have to put that pic in the album. I'M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DUMB I AM: Prince John thinks he's smart enough to catch Robin? He couldn't do it in Vikings, what makes him think he'll succeed this time? HAND-ME-DOWNS: Since when does Prince John take Captain DeLouche's cast-off women? Lady Alice was in the beauty pageant in the last ep. CRADLE-ROBIN: Robin must have been very young to have apprenticed at Fenwick with Lord Sedgewick. He was back at Locksley under the tutelage of Master MacGregor at the age of 16 when his father was killed. THEY GROW ON TREES HERE: Single men? In Sherwood? Who's signing up for the Sherwood Singles trip with me? Oh, but they're jobless? Forget it then, I can find those here. PEACHY KEEN, JELLY BEAN: Why would Fiona be instantly attracted to a man with 2 black jellybeans in place of his front teeth? THE FLASHER: Here's another quickie: In the very last shot of the school scene it looks like Little John is wearing chaps (like western riders wear to protect their legs while riding) AND NO PANTS ON UNDERNEATH!!!!! HISTORY LESSON: The teacher is wearing an Elizabethan collar, which won't come into fashion for another four hundred years. MY FAVORITE SCENE: It's a purely Matthew Moment. Lady Pamela doesn't know which is Robin Hood, the skinny guy with the hair, or the big brawny guy in the fuzzy hat. The two men look at each other, then at her, and point to each other, indicating that they are both Robin Hood. TOKEN FEMALE: You know they put Lana into the race because they wanted it to look PC, and they didn't want to put Marion in the race, because she had to be part of the rescue afterwards. HUNT & PECK: Pamela goes to kiss Robin, he leans in for it, then has the nerve to look surprised? He probably remembered that Marion was watching, and had to make a quick save. HIT THE DRAGON AND WIN A PRIZE: Why does it sound like Marion is hitting something when she fights Olwyn's dragon? We know it's a hologram, because Robin walked right through it in the last ep. NEWSFLASH: Olwyn has to ask if Robin is in trouble? When is Robin NOT in trouble? CAPED CRUSADER: I like the red cape that Robin wears in the race much more than the trashy looking gauzy ones he wears throughout the rest of the series. Don't know why they got rid of it. HE FLIES THROUGH THE AIR, WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE: When Robin flies over the wall and through the trees, you can see that it's a dummy that lands quite a ways behind where Robin is sitting in the trees. TATTOO YOU: When Robin 'lands' in the trees you get a good view of the dragon tattoo, but for some reason it has turned blue. YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER: Why doesn't Gilbert ride his horse across the river, instead of having his flunkies carry him? Guaranteed he'd be much drier. BLIND LEADING THE BLIND: Why doesn't Robin see Gilbert on the other side of the river as he pours the oil into the water and throws the torch in to light the oil? MATTMAN AND ROBIN: It's the old Batman-and-Robin-climb-the-side-of-a-buiding scene. The stuntguy does most of it, and does a bad job of making the climb look difficult. For pete of sake, it's just dirt! WASTE NOT, WANT NOT: Why does Little John throw that piece of food away after no one wants it? Why doesn't he save it for one of those starving peasants they're always trying to feed? HE LIKES TO WATCH: Why does Robin stop to watch Lana brandishing her arrows? He's supposed to win this race, isn't he? UP WHERE WE BELONG: I don't understand why Tuck comes down off the battlements. If he'd stayed up there Marion could have just handed him her bow instead of having to throw it. CHAIN GANG: Robin in chains. Sorry, no comment, I just like the image. LOL Little John pulls on the chains at the place where they're attached to the pole, but how does that unlock the manacles that actually imprisoned Robin? TIED WITH A BOW: Robin is fighting with a bow again. Now I can understand that he was a prisoner with no weapons, so he doesn't have a sword, but where did his bow and arrows come from? Couldn't someone have brought him a sword instead? INSTANT REPLAY: Tuck knocks two men out of a window, and then blesses them. You can see it over again in the background when Little John gets hit with a barrel. LONG JOHNS: Prince John buys his fancy, silky jammies at Victoria's Secret. WOMAN OF ACTION: I like this shot of Anna fighting in slow motion. GIVE HIM ENOUGH ROPE TO HANG HIMSELF: Uh, running into that thin rope at the speed that Gilbert was going should have beheaded him right then and there. FIGHTING DIRTY: You knew this was coming, didn't you? Robin finally has a sword, and he's covered with dirt, or sand before the fight even begins. Now he's clean, now he's dirty, now he's clean, now he's dirty. Now he's clean again as he rides away (because the stuntguy was wearing a different shirt.) COSTUME MISTRESS: And for the final scene, Pamela changes back into her Slut-of the Month outfit. ( Did I say that? Was that me?) KISS ME, YOU FOOL: (sigh) The kisses... I like these even better; there's real intent in them, they're not just simple pecks on the lips. He looks like he enjoyed these. But why isn't Robin afraid of Marion's reaction this time around? MR.RIGHT NOW: Robin has to ask Marion why she doesn't think he's Mr. Right. If he wasn't interested in Lady Pamela in the first place, why should he care? FINAL SCORE: Hey, Matthew, you are all Right with me. (so why don't you call?)